Surprised by Suffering

"Dear friends, do not be surprised at the painful trial you are suffering, as though something strange were happening to you.  But rejoice that you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when His glory is revealed."  1 Peter 4:12, 13

One of my parental pet peeves is complaining.  Without any instruction from me, all of my kids have become quite versed in the art of complaining and quite frankly, it bums me out! ( I'll resist the urge to complain about my kids' complaining! ) I think beneath any form of complaint is the belief that "my life should be problem-free."  Growing up in the lap of luxury, I think Americans are allergic to any form of personal sacrifice or discomfort.  We've come to expect comfort and so we are surprised by suffering on any level.  For my kids suffering means having a lot of schoolwork, having their ipod privileges revoked, having to set the table, being asked to do more than their siblings (oh, the injustice!) and not getting to eat out.    Hardship of any type seems to throw a stick in their bicycle spokes.  They break down in a pile of complaint.  I am horrified. . .

And yet this morning as I read in 1 Peter 4, I realize that I, too, am suprised by suffering.  In different arenas, I struggle with wholehearted resistance to hardship and personal sacrifice. . . especially in regards to family.  I get angry at Mark and the kids when my comfort is disrupted.  I resent my kids struggling and complaining and not embracing "obvious solutions", because I am pulled into a depth of suffering that I don't like. 

I am  just beginning to realize that I have a "suffering paradigm" that does not align with the Bible. In short, I suffer, I learn, I become stronger.   My paradigm is based on justice.  It is right to suffer for my own mistakes, but why must I suffer for others'. . . especially if their suffering results from their own foolishness or their resistance to my "obvious solutions"?!  (Don't procrastinate your homework and you will get better grades.  You'll go to bed earlier and not be so tired and grumpy, too!)  I will suffer for my own foolishness and shortcomings, but I chafe at the injustice of suffering for others.

But this is precisely what Jesus did.  He suffered for my sin and the rest of humanity.  And He didn't just suffer with the single, climactic act of crucifixtion.  I suspect Jesus suffered every day of His earthly life.   He suffered when His earthly family misunderstood Him and His brothers made fun of Him.  He suffered when His Nazarene neighbors basically called Him a liar and rejected His mission.  He suffered when the religious leaders attempted to publically humiliate Him.  He suffered when he saw how far from God these Jewish leaders were.  I think He suffered most over the disciples.  He shared his heart, broke bread with them and invited them into a holy adventure.  In return, they argued with each other, competed for Jesus' affection and repeatedly MISSED the point of His teaching.  Did Jesus ever think to Himself, "How could you be so selfish/stupid. . . after all I've done for you?!"

A biblical paradigm of suffering is not about my individual journey.  I am part of a bigger community, marked by profound brokenness, foolishness, selifshness and self-perpetuated pain.  Following Jesus means embracing the injustic of suffering for other people's mistakes, with an eye fixed on God's redemptive process.  Suffering leads to despair and anger when I stay on a horizontal plane.  Suffering is reduced to cause and effect and all I have to offer is a change in circumstances.  But from a vertical plane and eternal perspective, suffering is a portal into God's grander plan.  Suffering is fundamentally an invitaiton into radical dependency on God, an opportunity to align myself with Jesus' agenda:  "to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners."

This is a spiritual paradigm that I don't readily understand or embrace.  There is a mystery encapsulated in suffering.  Peter writes that participating in suffering results in joy.  To date, this has not been my experience.  When I carry the pain of my children or husband or friends, more often I experience frustration (why is this lasting so long?!!), anger (if only they would. . .), despair (nothing I do matters) and cynicism (that's just how they are; they'll never change).  I think that may have something to do with my very distorted view of suffering.  For the next few days I am going to camp out in 1 Peter and try to reconstruct a new biblical view of suffering.  I am going to ask God to help me yield my misconceived ideas about justice and suffering and tutor me the concept of redemptive suffering.