GUATEMALA: Days 5-6



Audrey and friend

      Our ministry week kicked off yesterday and what a day it was!  The Patlans are a "come and see" family, so we were invited to participate in the school and orphanage.  I led a devotional at the beginning of school. . . the first time I've ever spoken with a translator!  Afterwards our team fanned out.  Mark and the boys moved rocks, cleared the soccer field and prepped an area in the school to be painted.  Audrey spent the morning helping with the babies in the nursery (probably the BEST job!).  And Graciela and I helped in a classroom of 10 3-year-olds.  I was asked to read them a counting book and teach them how to say English numbers.  We labored through that book, counting to ten and including 20, 50 and 100.  I was totally humbled when the teacher spent the rest of the morning teaching them numero "5"!!  But it was truly wonderful to see how she taught and reinforced that number through so many activities!
     Eagle's Nest is also the site for a feeding program that feeds children from the community.  Three times a week, over 60 kids are served a hot and nourishing meal.  I did the same devotional there and then our team served them lunch.  Many of these kids would come to our camp, so we hung out with them and then walked them over.

Ymera

    But everything was building to camp!  We didn't know how many kids were coming, but we were prepared for about 100.  The camp was designed for ages 4-16, but Pedro suggested that many of the "mamas" from the orphanage might like to participate, so some of our team volunteered to watch the babies, so these women in their late teens and twenties could have some fun.  About 90 kids arrived and were divided into 3 age groups, which would rotate through volleyball, soccer and art.  It was a wonderful turnout albeit very chaotic!!  My team had the younger kids, which ended up including many 2 and 3-year olds, whose older siblings had brought them.  Trying to engage them in organized activites was like herding cats!  Probably the highlight for them was throwing a beach ball on the volleyball court.  There was one little deaf girl named Estella who was very unengaged. . . until we started throwing the beachball.  The best part of my day was seeing her face light up and hearing her giggle as she ran after that ball.  We also had 3 siblings that absolutely captured my heart:  Rudy (2), Ymera (3) and Marvin (8).  I learned



"Spiderman"



afterwards that they had recently been removed from their parents' home, because both parents were alcoholics.  Marvin had an impish smile and would hurl himself at me like a human torpedo!  But thanks to Josh and Caleb I understand this type of energy!  I kept calling him my friend and telling him how much I like him and how nice he was. . . and that he was "muy loco"!  Ymera has a very flat affect, but when she smiles you feel like you've won the lottery!  And Rudy is the energizer bunny until he sits still and the he can fall asleep sitting up. . . or sprawled on the concrete floor like yesterday.  We could tell you a bunch of stories, but suffice it to say these kids have captured our hearts.

     Today our team had a fun outing.  Half of us went ziplining (Mark, Audrey, Caleb and Josh included); and the other half took a boat ride across Lake Atitalan (Evan, Graciela and me).  We all had a great time, but those of us on the boatride were subjected to Guatemalan vendors at their worst!  They met us at the dock, thrust their items into our faces, begged us to buy.  When I said "mas tarde" (later), one woman said, "My name is Michelle.  Your remember me and buy from me."  Michelle proceeded to follow our group all the way up a street of vendors.  When I bought a trinket from a 3-year-old, she and a horde of other Guatemalans pounced on me.  They followed us into an ice cream store and they followed us all the way back to the boat, saying things like, "You said you would buy from me.  You lie.  It's not good to lie;"  "Please buy from me.  I need food."  "Give me money and I will leave you alone."  To say it was awful is an understatement!  We couldn't wait to get on the boat. . . and even then they were thrusting things in our faces, begging us to buy.  I hate pressure sales!  But it felt awful not to help needy people. 



Caleb and friend

On the upside, camp seemed like a walk in the park for me!  One of the blessings of today was watching some of the older girls on our team. . . older as in 8!  Here children start caring for their siblings at a young age and so a few of the girls on our team are watching their younger siblings or cousins.  They grow up fast and evidently their opportunities for fun are few.  Candi and Suceli are two of these responsible sisters and today they were having a blast!  I loved seeing them so animated and engaged!  Candi is Estella's older sister and together with their brother, Rolando, they live with their 83 year old grandmother.  They just began school at Eagle's Nest in January and are learning Spanish as their family speaks a Mayan dialect.  Their lives have been very hard and it was wonderful to see Candi enjoying herself so fully!





    

GUATEMALA: Days 3-4

     I wish I had made time to write during the last three days.  The days are incredibly full and we all fall into bed exhausted!  The CCG team arrived in Guatemala City on Saturday afternoon and we made a 3 hour bus ride (school buses are THE main form of transportation here!) to Eagle's Nest:  Nido de Aguilar in Spanish..  Safe to say we were unprepared for the breath-taking beauty!  Eagle's Nest is perched on a mountain (about 7000 ft.) overlooking Lake Atitilan which is surrounded by mountains, many of which are volcanoes.  We look out at the mountains, the lake and small communities.  We can hear church bells and the sound of music  from town.  And the air is so cool and dry!  Esta muy bonita aqui!!
    Most of us have felt the effects of high altitude -- i.e. tiredness -- and were thankful for an easy start on Sunday.  We worshipped in a Spanish evangelical church that meets in the Eagle's Nest School.  It was so beautiful to sing worship songs in Spanish with Guatemalan brothers and sisters.  Most were songs that we knew and thankfully they had the Spanish words on a projector.  The family of God was so big to us that morning!  I think most of the team, including us, felt compelled to honor the Latin tradition of afternoon siesta on Sunday. . . and we needed it!  Later in the afternoon a group of us walked through the nearby community to invite people to the sports camp we will be conducting Monday-Friday.  We walked through fields of maize, green onions, brocoli, bean and cilantra.  We saw incredibly humble homes, but beautiful flowers and kind , welcoming people.  We walked past a home where a family was having a funeral for their adult son who had died in a motorcycle accident.  We were invited in to pay our respects and pray with the mother.  Another family invited us into their home and shared their testimonies with us.  We watched a bunch of men and boys playing soccer.  Women and children walked past us in traditional Guatemalan dress.  It was an incredibly beautiful time and gave us such a picture of village life in Guatemala!  Here there were no tourists and we were told that the community has intentionally left road unpaved so to discourage people from moving to their community! 

The view from our room

     The family who runs Eagle's Nest is Pedro and Felis Patlan.  They have three children:  Audrianna, Dorian and Anika.  They are a dynamic family who have been amazingly gracious to us and incredibly helpful!  Felis' parents Claire and Larry Boggs started planting churches in this area of Guatemala 35 years ago!!  Felis grew up here, but only returned 2 years ago with her husband and kids to take over the administration of Eagle's Nest.  Eagle's Nest is an orphanage for about sixty children.  It also houses a school, grades pre-school through 7th, for both the orphans and children from nearby communities.  We will helping in the school most mornings and running a sports/art camp for children in the afternoon. 

Mi amiga, Maria



GUATEMALA: Day 2

Today was a day we will long remember.  It was such a privilege to travel outside of Guatemala City to the countryside!  We were so surprised by the beauty.  It is very dry here, but rolling hills were spotted with trees among fields.  Corn was growing on the sides of mountains!  Cows, goats and burros were grazing along the roads.  And men were cutting grass with machetes!  Our family decided we like the country much better than the congestion of the city!  We drove 87 kilometers (about 50 mi.) and it took 3 hours!!  We were so grateful to our driver, Mariano, for getting us there and back safely!  Neither Mark nor I would EVER want to   drive in Guatemala! 

It was amazing to be able to visit a Compassion center.  We were so humbled to see the place where children learn.  There were no enclosed windows and the desks and chairs were circa 1950s!  But the classrooms were decorated with art and there was such a spirit of love.  We learned so much about Compassion and are more passionate than ever about this organization.  Compassion  International partners with local Guatemalan churches to provide a place where children can come for tutoring and discipleship after school.  Older students also receive vocational training and some enrichment classes.  Additionally, students are provided with the necessary school supplies at the start of every school year.  Every center has one paid administrator, but is largely powered by volunteers.  And the sponsoring church cares for these kids and their families even after the kids have aged out.  There are 35,000 children enrolled in Compassion programs in Guatemala!

We met Donai, age 15, and his mother and 4-year-old sister, both named Maria.  Donai is a handsome, polite boy who met us with a huge thank you card.  He and his mother and sister captured our hearts!  They invited us to their home which was a 15 minute drive and then a 5 minute walk down a mountainside.  His "village" is a cluster of homes on the side of a mountain, accessed only by walking paths.  When we walked, we cross a small creek where a girl was washing dishes in the water.  His mother has to walk 15 minutes to haul fresh water back their house!  And cooking occurs on open fires. Evidently, Donai's home washed away 2 years prior during an exceptionally rainy season.  They were living in a nicer adobe home, provided by friends who had moved into San Pedro Pinula.  Our time with them was such a blessing.   We prayed together and while Mark prayed, Donai's mother prayed and Cruz, the center director prayed.  Our interpreter, Lucia, told us that the entire time that Mark was praying for Donai's family, his mother was praying for ours.  Isn't God amazing to bridge people across cultural, language and economic divides?  His mother radiated the love of Christ even when we couldn't understand what she was saying.  We all drove to the town of Jalapa to have lunch at Pollo Camporo. . . Guatemalan fastfood!!  The day was very eye-opening for all of us.  We are so grateful to our Compassion host, Lucia, who interpreted for us and taught us so much about Guatemala and Compassion in our two days with her.  I am amazed at how so many children's lives are made fundamentally better by being in a Compassion project.

GUATEMALA: Day 1

This morning at 5:30 a.m. our family left on our grand missions adventure to Guatemala!  We have run on adrenaline all day and are so thankful to be in our hotel rooms, in our pajamas and headed for bed soon!  I am also thankful to report that I had not panic attacks flying.  Evidently children are a strong distraction from emotional collapse (although we all know they are sometimes the cause of it, too!).  Our big talk with Graciela this morning was about how she needed to be holding a hand AT ALL TIMES. . . unless she was sitting down.  The consequence for not holding our hand would be the purchase of a child halter and leash.  We had been at the Greensboro airport for ten minutes, when she asked me if we could just go ahead and buy her a leash!!  Gladly, we did not need to and she is getting use to holding hands.  The other kids have been great and protective of her. 

The highlight of the day was meeting with our Compassion child, Kimberly!  Within an hour and a half of landing, we had rendevoused with our Compassion host, Lucia, who took us to the Metrobowl, where we met 19-year-old Kimberly and her chaperone, Griselda.  It was amazing to meet the person whose picture has been on our refrigerator for the last six years!  She was beautiful and gracious and we loved spending the afternoon eating and bowling with her.  She and Griselda both bowled for the first time in their lives!!  Thanks to the interpretation of Lucia, we were able to really engage.  At the end, we stood outside on the sidewalk and prayed for Kimberly.  She gave a very heartfelt "speech," thanking us for choosing her and telling us what a difference sponsorship has made in her life.  It was very poignant since she has aged out of the Compassion program and we will no longer be able to correspond with her as easily.  (We can e-mail her in English and she can e-mail us in Spanish, but there is the sticky problem of interpretation on both sides!)  We are so, so thankful for the time spent with Kimberly.

Tonight we went to a nearby Guatemalan restaurant which the kids really enjoyed.  The mark of a good hispanic restaurant is a woman making fresh tortillas and we were not disappointed!  Graciela kept wandering over to watch her and was thrilled when the woman invited her to make tortillas with her!!   What a sweet experience for her. . . and a great photo-op for us!

Tomorrow we are up early to visit our second Compassion child, Donai.  We will travel 87 miles and it will take us 3 hours!  Today we learned that he actually lives in the very town where Graciela was born!  We never knew! 

Intimidated and Inspired

   "To this you were called:  because Christ suffered for you, leaving you an example, that you should follow in His footseps.  'He committed no sin and no deceit was found in His mouth.'  When they hurled their insults at Him, He did not retaliate; when He suffered He made no threats.  Instead, He entrusted Himself to Him who judges justly."  1 Peter 2:20-23

 I have been with Mark on a business trip for the last few days in the beautiful Banff National Park in Alberta, Canada!  Yesterday Mark and I went downhill skiing at Lake Louise and it was beyond anything I have ever experienced.  In my life.  Ever.  We took a lift called the "Top of the World Lift" that dumped us on a snow-covered peak, surrounded by dozens of other snow-covered peaks.  It was so high I felt like I could touch the clouds.  It was breathtaking. . . it was inspiring. . . it was terrifying!  I am not a skilled skiier!  So I felt small and wholly inadequate to ski down the massive mountain on which I stood.  To make matters worse, skiiers and snowboarders were whizzing past me, jumping off the the defined trail, doing their own freestyle, bushwacking skiing.  My incompetence was highlighted.

This is a little how I feel when I read the above verses on suffering:  both awestruck and intimidated.  I am looking at a panorama of spiritual mountains that I can't imagine scaling.  I am passionate for justice, loud, outspoken and quick to vent my frustration.  How can I follow Jesus' example of suffering for the sin of people around me?  How do I lay down my rights and stop whining, "It's not fair!"?

As I read Peter's words it is patently clear to me that suffering is not optional!  We are to suffer for the foolish, broken, mean-ness of this world, simply because that's the example Jesus left.  He didn't correct every wrong, make the disciples behave and set up His kingdom.  He looked beyond injustice and saw His Father who would one day make all things right.  And He committed Himself to the path of redemption rather than that of personal comfort.  THAT is the example left for me to follow!

I'm intimidated, but I'm also struck by love that permits for that kind of suffering.  I want to love like that.  I want to try.  I want to trust God more than I trust myself.  Maybe it's like skiing yesterday.  I can't possibly take it all in and navigate an easy path.  On the mountain I just had to push off and follow Mark down.  I was slow and uncoordinated.  I fell some.  But each run was successively easier and eventually I found myself doing what seemed impossible. . . and then being crazy enough to go back to the top and come down again.

God give me that kind of faith -- to embrace suffering and entrust myself to you.

Surprised by Suffering

"Dear friends, do not be surprised at the painful trial you are suffering, as though something strange were happening to you.  But rejoice that you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when His glory is revealed."  1 Peter 4:12, 13

One of my parental pet peeves is complaining.  Without any instruction from me, all of my kids have become quite versed in the art of complaining and quite frankly, it bums me out! ( I'll resist the urge to complain about my kids' complaining! ) I think beneath any form of complaint is the belief that "my life should be problem-free."  Growing up in the lap of luxury, I think Americans are allergic to any form of personal sacrifice or discomfort.  We've come to expect comfort and so we are surprised by suffering on any level.  For my kids suffering means having a lot of schoolwork, having their ipod privileges revoked, having to set the table, being asked to do more than their siblings (oh, the injustice!) and not getting to eat out.    Hardship of any type seems to throw a stick in their bicycle spokes.  They break down in a pile of complaint.  I am horrified. . .

And yet this morning as I read in 1 Peter 4, I realize that I, too, am suprised by suffering.  In different arenas, I struggle with wholehearted resistance to hardship and personal sacrifice. . . especially in regards to family.  I get angry at Mark and the kids when my comfort is disrupted.  I resent my kids struggling and complaining and not embracing "obvious solutions", because I am pulled into a depth of suffering that I don't like. 

I am  just beginning to realize that I have a "suffering paradigm" that does not align with the Bible. In short, I suffer, I learn, I become stronger.   My paradigm is based on justice.  It is right to suffer for my own mistakes, but why must I suffer for others'. . . especially if their suffering results from their own foolishness or their resistance to my "obvious solutions"?!  (Don't procrastinate your homework and you will get better grades.  You'll go to bed earlier and not be so tired and grumpy, too!)  I will suffer for my own foolishness and shortcomings, but I chafe at the injustice of suffering for others.

But this is precisely what Jesus did.  He suffered for my sin and the rest of humanity.  And He didn't just suffer with the single, climactic act of crucifixtion.  I suspect Jesus suffered every day of His earthly life.   He suffered when His earthly family misunderstood Him and His brothers made fun of Him.  He suffered when His Nazarene neighbors basically called Him a liar and rejected His mission.  He suffered when the religious leaders attempted to publically humiliate Him.  He suffered when he saw how far from God these Jewish leaders were.  I think He suffered most over the disciples.  He shared his heart, broke bread with them and invited them into a holy adventure.  In return, they argued with each other, competed for Jesus' affection and repeatedly MISSED the point of His teaching.  Did Jesus ever think to Himself, "How could you be so selfish/stupid. . . after all I've done for you?!"

A biblical paradigm of suffering is not about my individual journey.  I am part of a bigger community, marked by profound brokenness, foolishness, selifshness and self-perpetuated pain.  Following Jesus means embracing the injustic of suffering for other people's mistakes, with an eye fixed on God's redemptive process.  Suffering leads to despair and anger when I stay on a horizontal plane.  Suffering is reduced to cause and effect and all I have to offer is a change in circumstances.  But from a vertical plane and eternal perspective, suffering is a portal into God's grander plan.  Suffering is fundamentally an invitaiton into radical dependency on God, an opportunity to align myself with Jesus' agenda:  "to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners."

This is a spiritual paradigm that I don't readily understand or embrace.  There is a mystery encapsulated in suffering.  Peter writes that participating in suffering results in joy.  To date, this has not been my experience.  When I carry the pain of my children or husband or friends, more often I experience frustration (why is this lasting so long?!!), anger (if only they would. . .), despair (nothing I do matters) and cynicism (that's just how they are; they'll never change).  I think that may have something to do with my very distorted view of suffering.  For the next few days I am going to camp out in 1 Peter and try to reconstruct a new biblical view of suffering.  I am going to ask God to help me yield my misconceived ideas about justice and suffering and tutor me the concept of redemptive suffering. 

Yielding to the process

     Graciela is learning to read.  Actually, she has been learning for 16 months.  The 100 Easy Lessons that had my other kids reading in 6-8 months have not proved as effective with my baby girl.  Remembering the difference between short "a" and long "a" has been agonizing.  After a year of "two-steps-forward-one-step-back" progress, in January Gracie was still sounding out words like "the" and "and".  I am not a reading specialist and years of homeschooling have not equipped me for Graciela's learning challenges.  All I 've known to do is to be faithful and patient.  Take the step backwards; reteach the concept again; express the belief  that "you can do this, you are so smart!"  All the while I'm woefully aware of my inadequacies, wondering if we are really making progress. 

     But a week ago, Graciela made that significant step of reading a real book:  Dick and Jane, that old time favorite that was my first reader!  A little chapter in that book launched Graciela forward.  All the frustration is receding as she is seeing that she can read!  Little words joining together into sentences that become a story.  The process has been excruciating, but she is bathing in the triumph of being able to read. 
    This little girl victory has been God's reminder to me that growth is always a process: one that can seem interminable and excruciating.  In the middle of any process it is easy to forget that the struggle will give way to triumph, that all those baby steps are really leading somewhere significant.  This is not a new lesson,  and yet, it is a lesson that I don't readily accept.   Can't life's obstacles be overcome by smart strategies, hard work and good communication?  If life gets too big, go to a friend or a minister or a counselor.  Get advice and make good choices and those problems will be conquered. 

     But now I am a parent of teenagers and God is revisiting this lesson with me.  He is exposing my "parental work ethic" as wholly inadequate.  In bold print He is writing these words on my heart:  GROWTH CANNOT BE HURRIED.  Yes, I am a player in my kids' lives, but I am not the shaper of their hearts or the director of their decisions.  I cannot orchestrate their lives so that they avert angst or jump over pain.  What I am in this season is a faith partner, whose primary job is to hold out truth and trust and invite my kids partake. Of greater impact than my words to them is my prayers.  The Holy Spirit who resides in my heart is the great engine of all growth.  He alone can access their heart and stir a soul appetite for God.  My role in this process is to BELIEVE.  I am to camp on soul-nourishing truths like, "He who began a good work in you (my kids) will be faithful to complete it;" (Philippians 1:6) and "For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do."  (Ephesians 2: 10) The faith that I long to see residing in my kids' hearts is what I need to nourish in my own heart. 

Too often, however, I yield to momentary panic and frustration.  I try to fix, persuade, demand, convict.  I push for conversations that I hope will bring change.  I live as if I can push my kids through this growth process and then we can all live happily every after.  I tell my kids that God can be trusted with the details of their lives and then live as if He can't be trusted.  I push for premature resolution, not leaving room for God to do the deep, soul work of redemption. 

Faith is a mystery and so is growth.  God's timetable is not my own.  But His heart beats for my kids.  He wants them to know His love and purpose even more than Mark and I do.  These are the deep waters of faith:  relinquishing my kids, believing that God is able to redeem every detail of their lives and use it all to bring them to a place of spiritual wholeness and renewal.  To this I yield. . . the process of growth in the hands of a Savior who can be trusted.